Is Monogamy For You?

MonogamyIn a world of heavily influential western culture, is monogamy still valid?

Amos Oz, the 69 year old Jewish author and philosopher said, “Most people are not monogamous by nature, and the socioeconomic pretexts for the traditional family have expired in many parts of the world.”

If men (and women) are not really monogamous by nature, why do we hang on to the practice with clenched fists and gritted teeth? Why are we so set on the idea morally, when in practice, the idea flies right out the window for so many people?

While true monogamy is very rarely practiced (one person till the day you die), monogamy with a current partner seems to be the societal ideal.

In looking at my own marriage, I know that I would be hurt if my husband looked for sex outside of our wedding day promises. But far beyond the emotional side of of monogamy, lies a deeper issue. The fact remains, that the more partners you have, the more susceptible you are to diseases like HIV and even cancer. And lets face it, even the diseases that are easy to cure, are not good to have in the first place, nor are the drugs that are required to cure them.

However, if we put the health issues aside, why is it that we continue to want monogamy in our relationships? Is it a selfish ideal to expect somebody to be shackled to you, and only you, for the rest of their lives (or the rest of your relationship), or is it a romantic notion after all?

I wonder how many people would be happier if they were allowed to seek sexual gratification outside of the confines of marriage. If marriage really and truly came down to a simple emotional commitment, and sexual gratification was separated from that, would we have a lower divorce rate?

Only time will tell. But for now, I enjoy being faithful and monogamous. There’s a security in it that you just can’t find any other way. Is this naive thinking? Perhaps. But I’ve always said, I enjoy my own delusions wholeheartedly.

~Jane

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